After six months on my knees, taking anti-depressants, dilgently attending counselling sessions and reading everything on the Net about every condition from schizophrenia, to multiple personality disorder to anxiety disorder, i finally realised what had been wrong with me.
I had allowed myself to be pushed too far
In fact, i had accepted being pushed too far
Until one day I stopped - doing anything at all
Stopped in order to get back in control
I realised that i had over done things
I realised that i should only do things when in control
So i started doing things only when in control
Then i realised that none of us are really in control of our lives
So i decided to start doing things knowing that i wasn't in control
Slowly but surely, doing more and more things - knowing that i was not in control
I realised that it was good to do things, knowing that i was not in control
But to realise the dangers of pushing myself to far, to soon
And so it was that i re-learnt how to be in control, even though i knew that i wasn't in control.